Create a balanced life
by Claire Westwood
Nurses often spend their time focussing on the needs of others, especially if they are parents as well, while neglecting to care for themselves. It’s time to change that!
There is a simple, but extremely effective, tool that is used by many Life Coaches to create a balanced life, called the 'Wheel of Life'. No single aspect of life happens in isolation, but being able to clearly think and plan for each different area can help to reduce the overwhelming feelings that come with trying to think about your life. This is especially true if it feels out of control or you feel 'stuck' in some way.
The strengths of the system are only truly apparent when you begin to set goals and take action. When your own health, life balance and happiness improves, you can act as a role model for your clients, and inspire them through your own experience.
So, where do you start if you feel overwhelmed, stuck, 'tired all the time' or stressed? Start by reading this article!
Using the 'Wheel of Life' to create a balanced life.
This exercise will challenge you to think about what you REALLY want for yourself in your life. If you feel that `something is missing', then the 'Wheel of Life' can help to point to what that may be.
Draw a circle, and divide it into 8 segments. Each segment has one of the following topics written in it;
Health - physical and psychological
Home - where you live - the flat/ house/ town/ country
Work - do you like your job, is it a good match to your skills and values?
Money - how much you earn, invest and spend
Family - relationships with your parents/children/siblings/partner
Friends and social life - meeting others and having leisure time and fun activities
Learning and development - personal growth, travel, hobbies, courses, challenges
Fun, challenge and excitement – this should be for everyone, not just your kids!
For each topic, give yourself a score out of 10 for how happy you are with that area of your life today. You can add other sections that are important to you - travel, hobbies or just a section titled 'me' or 'self esteem' if you wish to focus on those areas.
Then identify what would make that area score 10 out of 10 for you. This is a chance to fantasise about what you would really love in your life. What would be a fabulous outcome, or dream for you? Be bold, and don't worry about reality just yet - this is an exercise to stimulate ideas. Write them all down. What would you want if you could really have or do anything you want?
You can organise this information in a way that suits you. I have an A5 notebook that I write my weekly and 12 weekly goals, and I tick off each action. This works really well for me because I love lists, but experiment with what you find easy and inspiring.
STAR - Organising your ideas
STAR
Situation
For each section of the 'Wheel' assess exactly what is going on for you right now. Remember to look at successes and happy occasions, what you enjoy, as well as what you are dissatisfied with. Keep a diary for a week or so to reflect on the reality of the situation. What is working well? What achievements have you made in that area? What are you unhappy with? Write as much as you can - keep thinking and writing.
Target
What would be your ultimate `goal' or target for each section?
Action - possible and actual
List all the ideas you can think of to improve each area of your life, enlist friends, your partner or a coach to help you.
Then identify which of these you are actually going to do? If they still scare you, make them smaller and easier. Just do the first thing. Any action is better than none.
Reflection - assess your results at the end of the week
What worked well?
What did you enjoy?
What did not work?
Was it up to you, or others?
Reward
Treat yourself to an appropriate reward.
(Westwood, 2007)
Goal Setting
The setting of personal goals can be a very different proposition to setting professional, career or financial goals.
You can use the acronym, SILVER, devised by me after working with several clients. It is more detailed than SMART, and I feel more exciting!
Specific - What is it you want?
Inspiring - Does your goal excite you? If not, make another one!
Life enhancing - Will it make your life better?
Values based - Does it fit with your personal values?
Ethical - It should harm no-one else, and be legal
Robust - It should be based in reality, but still challenge you
(Westwood, 2007)
Actions
Identify one small action you can take this week to move you from where you are now towards your '10 out of 10' place. When you have identified one action that will move you closer to your ultimate goal, decide exactly when you will do it - the sooner the better - then do it! It can be as simple as buying a health magazine this afternoon, eating an extra piece of fruit each day this week, phoning an old friend for a chat, looking in an estate agent's window, taking your child to the cinema - whatever is right for you. Do it today, or at least this week. Make a start! JUST DO IT!
One action. One a day. One week at a time. It all adds up. One action a day means 365 in a year. That can make an enormous difference to your life. Once you start to make changes the momentum of taking regular actions can surprise you. Your energy levels will soar, and you will get far more done than you thought. The most important thing is that you MUST take action.
Get help and support
Find a colleague or friend who wants to improve their life, and work together. This should be an exchange of ideas with encouragement and praise for each other. A few sessions with a Life Coach can motivate you to get started, and teach you how to set goals for yourself.
Having someone who checks whether you have completed your actions means getting far more done than you would have otherwise. Life can get in the way, so make a promise to someone else, and perhaps have a forfeit involved initially for not completing them, as well as rewards for finishing a step. Once the process has started you will find that your internal motivation increases and you will carry out your actions with enthusiasm.
Use these techniques weekly to create a fulfilling and rewarding life for you, your colleagues and family.
Have fun and be happy!
Claire Westwood, 2009.
Claire Westwood is a qualified nurse, Results Coach and Director of www.happynurses.co.uk Go to www.happynurses.co.uk for 21 free happiness tips or contact me for help Claire@happynurses.co.uk
